Stephen Mertz (right) with Don Pendleton (left) and Richard S. Prather |
Stephen Mertz (left) and Michael Avallone |
Stephen Mertz (right) with Don Pendleton (left) and Richard S. Prather |
Stephen Mertz (left) and Michael Avallone |
Christmas Crimes at the Mysterious Bookshop edited
by Otto Penzler Mysterious
Press, 2024 For more than thirty years, New York City’s
Mysterious Bookshop has commissioned a Christmas story from the genre’s most
talented writers. These stories are printed as pamphlets and given out to the
Bookshop’s customers during the holiday season. The marvelous Christmas
Crimes at the Mysterious Bookshop collects twelve of the most recent
tales—an eclectic cohort ranging from puzzler to hardboiled and whimsical to
murderous and always with a good-natured attitude—into a single attractive
volume. Lyndsay Faye’s “A Midnight Clear,” is a brilliant and surprising take
on loss and vengeance with an ending that stings the reader just right. “Secret Santa,” by Ace Atkins—about
a thriller writer long past his prime, visiting New York City for a book
signing on Christmas Eve in 1985—is a pleasant stroll, with a little
excitement and a touch of irony, down the mean streets of the mid-century mystery
world. Rob Hart’s “The Gift of the Wiseguy,” is a slam-bang, atmospheric, and
ironic tale about a father’s love and son’s forgiveness. And the ending is
perfectly bleak in a heartwarming and Christmasy way. “Snowflake Time,” by
Laura Lippman, is a comedic and satirical tale about a deceitful television
personality fired for sexual harassment. Its first-person narration, which is
from the unreliable tv host, is briming with wit and irony. And even better,
everything turns out exactly as it should. Thomas Perry’s “Here We Come
A-Wassailing,” is more whimsical than mysterious—although a couple thieves
are working the neighborhood around the Mysterious Bookshop—but it is a
delightful journey from that first page to the last. Better yet, the entire
tale is centered around a bottle of 1962 Bertinollet XO Cognac, which I
gather is quite expensive, and that thin line that separates fantasy from
fact. “Sergeant Santa,” by David Gordon—the only writer in the collection I
was unfamiliar with—is a joyful holiday jig in The City. There is a corrupt
cop, an unlucky pick-pocket, and enough holiday cheer to enliven even the
most jaded readers. Christmas Crimes at the
Mysterious Bookshop also includes excellent entries from
Jason Starr, Loren D. Estleman, Jeffrey Deaver, Ragnar Jónasson, Tom Mead,
and Martin Edwards. |
Click here for
the Kindle edition and here for the hardcover of Christmas Crimes
at the Mysterious Bookshop at Amazon. |
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Nambu Type B Ben Boulden
* *
* *
TOM BOLLINGER HAD LIVED IN P—, UTAH, for 42 years. The
only other place he had ever been was Iowa on a two-year proselytizing
mission for the Church of the Martyr. He had been nineteen when he arrived in
the Hawkeye state and anyone who knew anything about Tom knew he hated Iowa
and Iowans. One reason for this hatred was because a missionary’s value is
judged by the number of converts he baptized and Tom had only finagled one in
two years—and that one had been a middle-aged woman with four cats and no
hope of ever getting married or having children and so she didn’t count in
Tom or the Lord’s eyes. The other reason is because Iowa was
the first place Tom ever really saw the lives of other people. In Utah, Tom only
saw the masquerade Martyrs’ put on at church every Sunday. All the men were patient,
God-fearing, and hardworking capitalists and the women were pure, happy, and
sweet. So Tom enjoyed telling the guys at the Patriarchal Quorum every Sunday
that Iowa was a playground for fornicators, adulterers, drug users, and fags.
Boy, did Tom like the word, “fag”—he used it as a substitute for “lame,”
“stupid,” “feminine,” and of course as a derogatory term for gay men and drag
queens. You should have heard him when a “gay family” moved into a house on
the very same street where Tom lived. His “brothers”—as Martyrs’ call their
male membership—in the Quorum never paid Tom much attention. Sure, he was
off, a little weird, he made them uncomfortable but he was harmless. Everyone
said so. He lived with his widowed mother, too, which provided his peers with
a litany of tiresome jokes. Never when Tom was around, of course, because
that would have hurt his feelings. Plus, in their quiet moments, Tom’s
“brothers” knew he was right about the world’s dirty and sullen ills and they
feared it would encroach upon their perfectly cultivated and inspired
lifestyle as God’s chosen people. The thing is, Tom was mostly
harmless. Sure, he had a strange obsession with his late-father’s gun
collection. A collection that filled an entire room in the aging but
well-kept house on Oak Summit Lane where Tom lived with his mother, but he
never threatened anyone or even mentioned shooting animals. His favorite gun in that room had
belonged to his grandfather. The benevolent and much loved, Lamar Bollinger. “Grandy
Lamar,” as Tom had called him as a boy, had taken the little pistol from a
dead Japanese soldier on Saipan in 1944. It was called a Nambu Type B and it
looked like it had come off the set of a World War 2 movie. The round barrel nakedly
sticking out of the blocky frame like an old-fashioned water pistol. And the
grips, which were Tom’s favorite part of the pistol, were Philippine Mahogany
and best of all Grandy Lamar had carved his initials into the wood so his
tent mates wouldn’t get sticky fingers. “L” on one side and “B” on the other. It was a beautiful pistol but one
nearly impossible to get ammunition for. It was an 8mm, which has never been
popular in the United States. Tom’s mother, she could be a real bitch Tom
often thought, wouldn’t let him use her credit card to order a box from a California
dealer that specialized in rare ammunitions. She said it cost too much—in
that squeaky high-pitched voice of hers that drove Tom crazy—so he had been
forced to work extra hours at his job waxing floors at the local University
to earn the $100 himself. Since Tom had ruined his credit a
few years earlier he made a bargain with the dealer. He’d mail cash for the 8mm
bullets, 20 came in every box, and upon receipt the dealer would mail the
bullets to a gun store in Provo where Tom would pick it up. The actual cost went
from $100 to $150 because of tax, shipping, and a handling fee that made Tom call
the dealer a “fag” after he’d disconnected the call. That had been two years
ago and Tom still hadn’t shot his grandfather’s old war trophy because he was
saving those 20 bullets for something special. He didn’t know what, but he
figured it would be obvious to him when the time came. It was even more obvious than Tom had
thought it would be, because on September 21, 2020, an apostle of the Church
of the Martyr gave a speech at the University where Tom worked. The gray old
man said every believer should defend the Church against the gay mob
threatening to knock down the walls and sodomize the faithful. He’d used the metaphor of a trowel
for building the faith and a musket—which Tom knew was an old word for a gun—to
defend it from its many enemies. Tom’s favorite line from the speech, or “talk”
as the Martyrs liked to say, went, “a volley of fire is necessary to defend
God’s Kingdom.” The speech’s underlying context was how the university’s
faculty weren’t doing enough to suppress—and in some cases even supporting—the
LGBTQ+
lifestyle on campus. But what the apostle meant as
metaphor Tom took as literal and that line about “a volley of fire” rang in
his ears over and over. So Tom set to make the world a
better and brighter place. He took Grandy Lamar’s Nambu Type B semi-automatic
pistol from the gun room, cleaned it, loaded its narrow magazine to capacity
with seven rounds, rammed it into the pistol’s grip, and pulled the slide back
to load an 8mm round into the chamber. The slide slammed home with a
satisfying clunk. Tom knew the gun was ready to shoot. He walked past his mother watching her
absurd television game shows—the crowd applauding like lunatics—opened the front
door and walked into the pleasant early-autumn afternoon. He didn’t bother
responding when his mother asked where he was going. Instead he walked down
the driveway, its crumbling surface crunching beneath his boots. The crisp
air as unnoticed as the setting sun. He turned left at the sidewalk. Tom knew where he was going. He had
known without understanding this was his destiny since the two “fags” had
moved in three years before. But it had taken those carefully crafted words
the apostle used for Tom to truly understand what the Lord wanted him to do. When he reached the family’s house,
Tom paused a moment. He looked down at the pistol in his hand. He flexed his pointer
finger and laid it against the trigger guard like his father had taught him
so many years ago. A neighbor getting out of her car after a long day at work
saw Tom with the gun in his hand. She squeaked and rushed to her own front
door, the key shaking so badly it was impossible to get it into the lock. Tom’s hands were remarkably steady
as he walked up Mark and Roger Dawson’s driveway and stepped over a short
hedge of privet bushes onto the concrete porch. He saw there were lights blazing
inside and from somewhere a piano played a simple and familiar tune. Tom
stopped at the front door, which had been painted purple in the spring. He
reached for the knob and twisted it—it was open, just like he hoped it would
be. After all, no one locked their doors on Oak Summit Lane. A rich and delicious smell of
cooking wafted across the threshold. Tom could see Roger in the kitchen, his
back turned. On his left a girl whose name Tom thought was Rosie or Rachel
looked up from the piano. Her hands frozen in mid-air, her mouth open in
surprise. Tom stepped toward her. He raised
his grandfather’s prized war souvenir with the same ease as if he were
pointing a finger at her. He pulled the trigger. The Nambu’s sharp crack muted
the girl’s shouts like they had been so much useless white noise. Tom couldn’t be sure, but he thought
her last word had been, “Please.” From the kitchen Tom heard Roger
shout. Tom turned as the man rushed toward him. A single phrase flashed in
Tom’s mind: Kill the fag! And he did. The little Nambu pistol
bucked with the trigger pull and Roger stumbled forward two steps before
collapsing face down on the hardwood with a floor rattling thump. A shout came from the second floor. Tom
ascended the stairs in three longs strides. At the top he followed a hallway
into the rear of the house. The first door went into an empty bathroom. The
second opened onto a bedroom and inside Mark Dawson was frantically trying to
load a small black revolver. When he heard Tom at the door, Mark turned and
threw the gun at him. It smacked against the door jamb and caromed to the
floor with a bounce. Tom raised the Nambu Type B. His
mouth razored into a tight smile. Mark said, “Why?” Tom pulled the trigger. The gun
shimmied in his hands and Mark fell onto his back. In a beat of gleeful worship, Tom
whispered, “Thy will be done.” Behind him a baby cried. Tom turned away from Mark’s bleeding
form and walked towards the crying. At the back, in a tiny room, a toddler
stood in its crib. The boy’s face was crimson with terror. A forgotten binky
hung from a ribbon attached to a pocket of its blue pajamas. A mobile turning
a parade of shapes—squares and circles and rainbows—glittered with the room’s
overhead light. The toddler shook with emotion and
if you listened, he was shouting, “Daddy, Daddy!” again and again. A chill
ran down Tom’s back. His skin prickled with goosebumps. He drew the pistol up
from his side and looked at it. He extended his arm and pointed the Nambu at
the baby. He squeezed his finger on the trigger but his hand shook with the gun. He closed his eyes and breathed with a conscious effort. When he reopened
them Tom saw the child—as the first responders would learn later the boy was
named Colin—for what he was. A scared, hurting little boy. An orphan. In the distance Tom heard sirens. He
knew they were coming for him and he began crying. For a beat he understood
the monstrosity of what he had done. As the sirens grew
closer, Tom raised his Grandy Lamar’s prize to his temple and pulled the
trigger. He faded to blackness as Colin cried with pain. And Tom knew it was
too late for redemption and he hoped there would be no God on the other side,
waiting to judge him. Fin |
Ben Boulden is the author of two novels, several short stories, and more than 400 articles, book reviews, and columns. His latest book, Casinos, Motels, Gators is available for Kindle, and as a paperback everywhere. Click here to see it at Amazon. |
© 2024 by Ben
Boulden |
“Simon
& Simon: Loser Turns Up Winner,” by
Jerry Buck appeared in the May 8, 1983, issue of the Sunday Magazine
in the Salt Lake Tribune. Essentially an interview with Simon &
Simon (1981 – 89) creator, Philip DeGuere, Jr., it chronicles the series’
early years. My favorite part? Learning it started out life as Pirates Key—set
on a mythical island in the Florida Keys. |
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Ah, my old friend October skated by with hardly saying
hello; or so it felt because the entire month passed in a week. A windstorm stripped
the trees of their coloring leaves and the nighttime lows plummeted from the
50s to near freezing. Brrr… But my reading—as it always does this time
of year—improved over last month with five books, four novels and a story
anthology, and three shorts. My first of the month is Gavin
Lyall’s splendid aviation thriller, Shooting Script (1966). Lyall’s
work is defined by his imaginative plotting, literate style, and Raymond
Chandler-esque dialogue. And Shooting Script, which is Lyall’s fourth
published novel, is amongst his best. Keith Carr—a Korean War RAF fighter
pilot—operates a struggling one plane Caribbean air cargo service. After Carr
is gray-listed by the U.S. Government for false rumors he is flying supplies to
revolutionaries in the fictional Republic Libra, he is forced to take a gig
flying a camera plane for an American movie crew filming in Jamaica. But as
one would suspect there is more going on than meets the eye. There are echoes
of the Bay of Pigs fiasco, a bigger-than-life actor with a resemblance to
John Wayne, right-wing politics and all, and a creative use for a rusting old
B-25 bomber. Shooting Script is about as good as a mid-century
thriller gets. Chuck Dixon’s vigilante tale, Levon’s Trade (2012),
came next. I’d heard good things about Levon’s Trade and its eleven sequels.
It is well-written and entertaining, but there’s not much original here.
It’s the same book that has been written over and over since Don Pendleton introduced
The Executioner in 1969, but if you like this stuff, you can do a lot
worse than Levon’s Trade. Eight Very Bad Nights, edited by Tod Goldberg
(2024), is a solidly entertaining anthology featuring eleven new crime and
thriller stories set during the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. In a phrase, it’s
good fun—check my detailed review here. There was a time when I read horror;
a lot of horror. And one of my favorite writers from that long ago era is
Jack Ketchum. His most popular work tends to be gross-out, ultra-violent
slasher stuff; e.g. Off Season (1980), Offspring (1991). But categorizing
Ketchum’s writing, even at its most depraved, with the norm in the slasher
and splatter-punk subgenres is like comparing a BMW with a Yugo. Ketchum
wrote with vigor and style. His tales unfailingly revealed something about
humanity; even if that revelation is uncomfortable. So for Halloween this
season I reread Ketchum’s 1984 novel, Hide and Seek. I originally read it twenty years ago
and I had forgotten almost everything except the climactic sequence and its
Maine setting. It’s a demented haunted house tale about five kids playing a
game of hide and seek in an abandoned house. It’s damn good, too, but only if
you like horror and don’t mind a bit of graphic violence. Penance (1996) is David Housewright’s first novel.
You’ve likely noticed—if you read the blog regularly—I’m a fan of
Housewright’s Rushmore McKenzie mysteries. But Penance features a former
St. Paul, Minnesota cop turned P.I. named Holland Taylor. It’s obviously a
first novel. The voice isn’t as strong as Housewright’s subsequent books and
the plot is overly complicated. But it’s fun watching Taylor spin around a
murder investigation that takes him all the way to the State House. And Penance
really is good (just not as good as Housewright has become in the decades
since). |
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The number of short stories I
read in October dropped from the previous month, but two of the three were
novellas. The first is Ed Gorman’s post-apocalyptic, “Survival”
(1995). A novella that was originally published in Gorman’s collection, Cages,
“Survival” is a rare so-so tale from Ed. The idea is cool: Fascist religious
terrorists demolish humanity with nuclear weapons and the survivors band
together in hospitals where they are treated, without medicine, for the after-effects
of the blasts. The plotting is a bit confusing, but the premise and characters
are interesting enough to make it worthwhile. “Dracula Wine,” by David Housewright
(2021)—the 22nd installment of the multi-author A Grifter’s
Song series—is a satisfying caper about a con-woman taking a businessman
to the cleaners. It’s good fun with a smooth twist. Jeremiah Healy’s “Battered Spouse” (1990) is my favorite of Healy’s John Francis Cuddy shorts.
Cuddy is called in when a jogger is killed by a hit-and-run driver to drum up
something the police may have missed, which he does, of course—read my
detailed review here. Fin— Now on to next month… |
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1970s Western Splatterpunk: Six-Gun
Samurai: Bushido Vengeance & Sloane:
The Man with the Iron Fists By Mike
Baker I’d finished the relentlessly dark Blood Meridian
and then read Cormac McCarthy’s 3rd book, Child of God,
which, while entertaining enough for a Cormac McCarthy book, gets
progressively more f’d up as Lester Ballard becomes unmoored from his humanity,
descending into the hell of his unchecked subconscious. I needed a break—which
is why I grabbed Six-Gun Samurai: Bushido Vengeance,
which is book #2 in that series by “Patrick Lee”. When Tom Fletcher was a 12-year-old
midshipman on duty at the American mission in Tokyo, the mission was attacked
by ninjas. Everyone is massacred but Tom who escapes, is taken in, and
adopted, by a Samurai who raises Tom as his own son, training him to be a
Samurai warrior. When his American family is butchered by renegade Union
soldiers, led by notorious Colonel Edward Hollister, Tom heads back to the States
to get his revenge. Each book in the series finds him hunting Hollister and
his gang of murderous scum. This outing with Tanaka Tom is somehow
more insane than the first go. Tom is hunting a man who took part in the
murder of his family but is now acting as an Indian agent. The Indian agent
is trying to get two rival bands of Apache to slaughter each other so that
the Indian Agent can take their land for his boss, and Tom’s nemesis, Colonel
Hollister who led the soldiers that murdered Tom’s family. First, Tom
befriends one band of Apache and then he convinces the Indian Agent that he’s
a bad guy, gets hired by the Indian Agent, gets his cover blown blah blah
blah. He then rushes back to the Apaches and gets the two rival bands to
unite based on the principles of bushido which they intuitively get as noble
savages, and they all go to war against the US Cavalry. There’s a whole court case where Tanaka
Tom defends his and the Apache’s slaughter of the US Cavalry which is pretty
f’ing boring, but it leads to a climax on par with any spaghetti western/Shaw
Brothers extravaganza in its over the top, batshit crazy mass blood and
slaughter. I’m a
traditional guy when it comes to westerns. I, myself, started with Piccadilly
Cowboy stuff but then migrated to Lewis Patten, Clifton Adams and Elmer
Kelton because, and feel free to disagree, I need someone to root for and
cheering on Edge or Crow was essentially cheering on all my rage and
disappointment which I should have resolved in my 30’s. That said, the book
is so bonkers that, the stupid, boring ass court scene aside, its infectious
fun and the absolute absurdity of this book convinced me to buy book #3. |
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Still feeling Cormac McCarthy fatigue, I grabbed Sloane:
The Man with the Iron Fists, by “Steven Lee”, and
holy smokes, it is actually more ridiculous than Six-Gun Samurai. Sloane’s daddy is a sodbuster and one day
a Conestoga wagon carrying a circus troupe, led by a rubber nose wearing
clown, stops at the Sloane homestead asking for directions and water and ends
up with Sloane’s daddy getting tortured to death as Sloane’s mama is raped,
tortured and murdered. Sloane high tails it to the countryside to get away from
the horror movie his family home has descended into—let me be clear—this shit
is f’d up even by Picadilly standards. And Sloane doesn’t get away because,
like most circus troupes, their evil Apache runs him down with a horse and
stomps holy hell out of him with the horse and then leaves Sloane for dead. He is, of course, rescued by a Chinese
family whose wife is a healer and whose father is a kung fu master which
leads to Sloane living and becoming a kung fu master. They have a daughter
who Sloane later screws because the 70’s had some real messed up Freudian
whatever the hell that made David Hamilton ok for the American book buying
public and those creepy Pia Zadora/Brooke Shields underaged movies not seem,
at the time, creepy as hell. Sloane grows up and hunts the clown, and
his clown posse, down. There’s lots and lots of ultra violence involving kung
fu but also guns, acrobatics, knife throwing and yes, clowning. The only bad thing about the books, other than the story
etc., is that there were only two of them to make fun of. |
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