The development of “Awake” has a long and sordid history that spans across nearly two years and I think the end product is pretty good. The opening paragraph changed a handful of times (as did most everything else in the story), but here is the final version:
“The old man’s eyes were
hot, but the back of his head was ice cold. The neglected kitchen—dirty dishes
stacked in the sink; the counter littered with empty food packaging—disappeared
as he focused on the tiny old-fashioned micro-cassette sitting on the cracked
laminate kitchen table.”
I hope you enjoy it (if you choose the read it).
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